What’s up I’m Noelle I’m fourteen and I never fucking Learned To Enjoy Things In Moderation
date a boy who cares for you. date a boy who’s cute. date a boy who picks you up when you fall. date a boy who has his head in the clouds. date a boy who literally rides in a cloud. date a boy who’s yellow and smol and round. date a boy who throws spiky dragons at your head. okay date lakitu you should date lakitu
Okay, but imagine Luigi getting kidnapped, and Mario and Peasley going to save him together.
Mario would vault over things and jump and skid and all that, while Peasley would carefully tiptoe around everything, sit on the floor and sulk when Mario goes to fast, has to get mario to pull him up, demand a rest every 5 minutes, sing annoying songs, and steal lakitu’s clouds.
the human body is so fake like i’ll be reading the news and it’s like “25 year old woman free falls 1,500 feet into 25 feet of snow, found alive and uninjured” and while I’m absolutely reeling over that I don’t even have time to process it fully before I look at the next article “25 year old man falls into shallow end of pool, dies instantly.”
like our bodies literally have the durability predictability of an iphone
one time I misjudged how steep a “hill” was and proceeded to slide down the slope of a cliff for a full half minute and hit the bottom unscathed.
then I tripped on the stairs on my way to see Neon Genesis Evangelion and shattered my entire kneecap.
Shoveling snow is basically just pushing your problems to the side and waiting for them to go away.
People who prefer hot weather: Snow and ice are a pain, and the cold is just kind of uncomfortable even when you wrap up, you know?
People who prefer cold weather: MY SKIN LITERALLY MELTS OFF EVERY SUMMER I AM A FUCKING HUMAN SOUP AS WE SPEAK
you wouldn’t believe how many people reblogged this to whine about hot weather in the tags.
too cold? put on another layer!
too hot? change into thinner clothes!
still too cold? put on another layer!
still too hot? uh, get naked I guess?
still too cold? put on another layer!
still too hot? Ţ̡̜̮̗̟̯͘ͅA̛͈͎̤͙̳̦̱̜̺̪K̢̻̥̥̥̪̙̜̩̗̼̤̻̻͖͍̜͈͉͠ͅE̟͕̩͔̪͓͔̥̦͇̣͇̳͕͉͜ͅ ̠̝̥̖̭̦̼́͝O̩̦͓̠͉̲̲̱̪̹̻̼̭̯͎͈̕͢F̷̸̢̛̙͇͔̜̙̮̗̲̤͇̯͡F̧̨̱̤̲̫͕͔̼̭͙̠̙͙̹̻ͅ ҉̫̠͓̙̠͔̕͜͠Y͡҉̴̘̭̬̳́O̶̶̧͚̞̣̯̩̫̜̩͉̤͎͖̖͟ͅU̶̵̺̠̪̘̱̮̮̙̻͈̣̦̭͠͝͞R̨҉̦̺͓̩̺͖̘̪̥̺͚̱͚͔̪͓̖̰ ̷̸̺͇̳͇̖̥̻̳͚̗̥͙̪̣́S̡̞̳͖̭̯͉̻̠͔̥̹̫̣̼̹͇͜K͏̧͍̪̗̖̜̫̙̱̫͈̟̝̮͈̻̺̯̟̠̀Į̧̙͙͔̠͖̟̕͝Ǹ͖͎̳͍̪̱̞͇̺̘̩͘͜͠
The cold is easily shut out, the heat is inescapable hell
^
THEY GET IT.
I can’t stand anything higher than 20°C thank god I live in Canada.
i’m using Internet Explorer, i hope this posts quickly. happy new year 2011
its awesome because the longer this post circulates the funnier it will get
“See you next year” jokes on New Years Eve is essentially the gateway drug to Dad Jokes
